Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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