I wanna passion pit in your ass
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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