I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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