He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Less talking, more tequila
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
