I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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