I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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