Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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