How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
