remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
