I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
