Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
