Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
