fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize