Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
