So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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