I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he fucked my hip out of place.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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