Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Enjoy the penises
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
