we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
