Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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