i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
