just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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