Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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