remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
