some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
