you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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