so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
