need another drink. this is the easiest way
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
