his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
