There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
