I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
