so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
