God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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