ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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