He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
