I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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