u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
