Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
