My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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