last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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