we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i out mim tonsoeep
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize