There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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