I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
