Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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