..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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