can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Text me some of your sweat
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
