He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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