I am spending my child support on dildos
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
