at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
