let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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