How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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