I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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