so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
