I love black thongs
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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