My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
