is your mom at the bar?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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