1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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