Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
