This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
