Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
