I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she smelled like a LAN party
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
