Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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