I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
