we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
