Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
