Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
